Posts tagged Groucho Marx

Monkey Business (1931)

  • Groucho: I want to register a complaint.
  • Captain: Why, what's the matter?
  • Groucho: Matter enough. Do you who sneaked into my stateroom at three o'clock this morning?
  • Captain: Who did that?
  • Groucho: Nobody, and that's my complaint. I'm young. I want gaiety, laughter, ha-cha-cha. I want to dance. I want to dance till the cows come home.

Flavorwire » 30 Literary Quotes That Just Might Get You Laid

It’s late, it’s closing time at the bar and the ugly lights have just come on. This calls for desperate measures…

  • “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” - Oscar Wilde.
  • “What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse.” - Henry Miller
  • “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” - Pablo Neruda
  • “I’m the fortieth ugliest man in this bar. But so what! So what!… Isn’t this how people used to fall in love?” - Gary Shteyngart

Alternatively, if you need an exit strategy, there’s always Groucho Marx - “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it”.

Duck Soup (1933)

  • Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
  • Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
  • Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
  • Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
  • Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
  • Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
  • Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

A Night At The Opera: Crowded Cabin Scene (via EclecticGlue)

I’m sure there are better examples of absurdity in cinema (and on the interwebs), but for the time being this’ll do just fine. Take it away, Groucho.

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Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me (1959)